Paradoxes abound in this life. I must live knowing that the moments of today or this week could be my final moments in this body, functioning and making choices from that particular platform, while simultaneously I behave with the foresight that I may live another 5, 10, 52, or 99 years in this body. I am called to be both present and directly alive, while also patient, persistent, and allowing a subtle, tree-like growth pattern. Similarly, my roots continue to grow deeper into the earth, grounding me into this body, this physical realm, and my relation with things of this earth. Yet ironically I am traveling and moving so much lately that I cannot even establish a garden of my own in which to grow roots! So a spark of truth illuminates in this paradox... I get to see where my true roots are growing... into and from my heart that is. My sense of center and my connectedness to the source that is endlessly abundant is not dependent on external things, one example being a situated home. (Okay, now I've got it and I can stop traveling and settle down! Haha just kidding, my beloved parents!)
And so I walk these lines with a sense of wonder. A sense of wonder because it is all so beautiful and mysterious how it all balances, all of Creation like a swirl of oil and water. Building my awareness helps me walk though time. The garden metaphor works well for me as I see that what I am doing is tending to my garden, which is in essence nurturing the desired plants and not helping the weeds! I sometimes feel good and clear, and sometimes I can't make sense of it all. But that's okay. The great story is not one to be "figured out" like a containable equation. Each day there is the witnessing of more birth and more death. The palpable force of our attention is a sword and a chalice, too. As a sword, this attention beams onto others and the environment around us, and there are effects, consequences of where we shine this piercing force of our attention. Also, it behaves as a chalice as we collect and receive that which we put our attention upon. This profoundly intricate process of relating the interior with the exterior is tremendous in the way it reflects and ricochets, like a beam of light pointed into a hallways of mirrors. We create what we see. We become what we focus on. We perpetuate what we hold in our minds. What do I want to put my attention on? This is the question I keep asking myself as I walk this road. This is my medicine.
