The Love Found in Rootedness

It's been a long stretch of time since I've articulated and beamed out my stories and musings to all of you! Lately, my lips have been brewing poems more than they have been crafting descriptions of travels. As many of you may know, I've settled down a bit, planting myself in Berkeley, California, not far from my original home, to root and feel what it is like to allow my root ball to spread into its container. Have you ever noticed how almost everything in our lives can be correlated with a metaphor from gardening or nature? It makes so much sense when you think about it... After all, we quite literally are Nature.

Since the last time I checked into my blog space, I've planted many seeds and harvested the fruits of some of my most precious prayers. The most important of those being that I've met and connected with the most brilliant partner I could have imagined... This incredible man, Daniel Rechtschaffen, has shown up as my love, my companion, my boyfriend, my sweetie pie. Above all, he meets me where I have longed to be met for quite some time. All praise to the Highest for bringing me into alignment with this man, for listening to the sincere prayers of my tender heart, and for making sure he was so darn beautiful in every way!

So that's what I've been up to for the last few moons...

In addition, this has been a time for me to connect more deeply into my spiritual path, one which has a dynamic cluster of branching limbs, each providing me with certain tools and aids that help me grow strong and limber. Buddhism has finally taken a more prominent role in my sacred study, and I'm finding much insight and solace in the focused participation in its teachings. From it, I'm learning how to lean into my present experience, whatever it may be, and finding that when I do so, each emotion and sensation in the body is profound fertilizing juice for my evolution into who I really am. Just as rich and nourishing has been my continued walk into the teachings of indigenous peoples and Nature itself. I have some key teachers, both young and old, speaking in both English and Spanish, as well as my own heart from which I am learning step by step the ways of Life. Maybe the most important lesson I'm learning is the power of praying for that which I most love and that which most needs love... everything, really.

With all of the struggle and suffering that is happening in the world today, there are plentiful opportunities to recognize what I'm grateful for and to act upon my inspiration to create and to serve. What that exactly looks like for me in particular is in a nebulous form at the moment. In the meantime, I'm expanding my skills as a body worker and a human being, trusting that if I do this work to prepare my soil, the seeds I plant will without a doubt sprout.

Yandara Yoga Teacher Training

Engaging instruction on the Art of Yoga... more than a stretching exercise a path of inner listening and attention to Body. Energetic fields surround this body with high intelligence, informing cells on how to behave, how to feel, how to heal. Joyous expression of dance and patient periods of relaxation unwind the stress and disarm the fear body. Hours of asanas warm and expand our physical bodies. Frequent meditation on the beach, open air pavilion, or ocean view studio focus and widen our inner vision of Self. As we live outside in a luxurious yet simply arrangement of mini-room sized tents and delightful banos, each moment is shared with interesting insects, humming birds with white stripped temples, shy jack rabbits, chirping geckos, friendly dogs, and if we are so fortunate, the occasional snake or dolphin pod. Sunrise accompanies our silent movement to morning beach meditation... palm trees and cactus silhouetted in the remaining dark corners of dawn. The ceaseless crashing of ferocious Pacific waves backdrops the air. We´ve watched a whole half cycle of the moon since our arrival, bathed in her various forms from crescent to waxing to full...

Daily routine is both structured and subtly unique each new day to reflect the organic yet intentional style of this yogic haven on the skinny peninsula of Western Mexico. Mornings promise a breakfast of fruit, an nutty, conconutty, rasiney mix, honey, and cinnamon. The cinnamon and honey combo over apples has practically become a religion and we its worshipers as it is the sole sweet we can indulge in. Hot tea is present day and night for our appreciative delight. Lunches and dinners vary, always delicious, healthy, and plentiful. Self-regulation is a personal duty as there is no scarcity of food; part of the nurturing, generous spirit of this place. Yet coffee, sugar, bread, and all those devious temptations are not part of the program as may be expected in a sattvic environment (although there is a chance to blur the line a tiny bit during our 3 hours of ¨free time¨ in the nearby pueblo of Todos Santos on Sundays!) Yet to imagine that any of this training is anything but free time would be crazy talk. This is truly a freeing time, a time to be freely oneself, freely embodied in awareness of optimal health on all levels.

In addition, the unique inclusion of soft and dynamic Thai Qi into the yoga practice here is a clear reflection of Yandara´s intentions to cultivate the inner energy and direct it for the good of our own bodies and all beings. The whole system and schedule seem to flow to the frequency of this gentle, powerful, and ancient Asian practice.

A yoga teacher (which I officially now am!!) is supported in her role when she knows the asanas (the poses or more accurately translated, the seats), their names, and their effects on the consciousness and bodies. However, she really serves as a healer who can uplift and guide students down a positive path when she herself is grounded and blossoming into her own authentic self.

The July training I just completed attracted 24 gorgeous women from all over North America and even Europe. The bonding that occurred has created yet another powerful grid of positive, feminine energy for our Planet Earth. The instructors here are some of the fines, wisest, most down-to-earth and down-right radiant yoga practitioners I could have been blessed to encounter in this learning manner. The wider community of musicians, artists, healers, and astrologer are a generous and active group of humans who work and teach by example, making all feel welcome and connected to the greater movement of Light work in these times. I will forever feel as a family member here.

Sandy, sun-kissed, physically exhausted some days and definitely sassy on others, my Spirit feels so good about this 16 day yoga teacher training. I feel abundantly prepared for my next steps in the journey.

... Mexico City, July 30, 2010, on the way to Ecuador and my 7 day Vision Quest, or Encounter with the Moment...

Green Everything

Last weekend was the Green Fest, a conglomeration of creators, collaborators and coyotes convening to share and learn about all that is environmentally and socially conscious business. Every year there are a plethora of raw organic chocolate treats to eat, flared out hemp yoga pants to strut your sexy authentic self in, re-purposed sweaters made into cute argyle patterned accessories, solar panel demos, earth alters, mushroom parades, non-toxic everything you could want to put onto your beautiful body, and people, people, GORGEOUS PEOPLE! Speakers are engaging with audiences for three days straight on a variety of stages. Musicians call and strum people to their feet for delicious movement and celebration. Food and textiles are traded for super-food beverages and back rubs. It's a reunion for many of us, another gathering epicenter of health and intentions of wellness on multiple levels... for others it is an introduction to this green craze they notice in the media. Overall, the Green Fest is a fertile ground for planting and harvesting brilliant ideas about how we can more consciously coexist on this beautiful water planet we call home.

I sang with a group called the Social Prophet Choir on Sunday evening. This has become a tradition of the San Francisco Green Festival, a closing ceremony with the bright and enthusiastic choir of activists and thought leaders of the Social Prophet Choir singing out the weekend. We went on to sing our signature song, Now is the Time, written by our beloved Troy Lush, at the after party as well. We had so much fun! Rockin' out with a gaggle of beautiful beings, all dressed in snazzy black and green, harmonizing and swaying to the funky beat held by our magnificent percussionists Yari and Tracy, is a feeling that stays with me and inspires me still.

Now it's back to my study work with the Green MBA. Accounting, marketing, economics... although it is not as glamorous as traveling through South America with my backpack and guitar, I'm really appreciating the mental exercise and the fact that I'm building skill sets that I can use into the future to secure a good future for our grandchildren. That's part of my intention for doing this work. I'm weaving my passion for children and travel and the earth and art of all forms into actionable dreams that can benefit from the structures of business. In the meantime, I'm taking care of my own little plot of land... my own body, my backyard garden, my close circle of friends and family, my precious inner mind space. When we take care of the most intimate home of ourselves, I mean really take care of it from the deep roots to the central core to the outermost leaves, we are doing the most essential job we can do for the world. Only from that cultivated and healthy self can we truly integrate and collaborate in productive ways with those around us. This way, we become a thriving forest that is likely to live on for a long time.

Today's pace of life and availability of options is all greater than one woman can take in and take on. I mean, this notion may seems crystal clear to others but for me, especially when living in the Bay Area, the limitless possibilities can get spinning before me like dozens of juggling balls I never intended to set into motion. I don't want to be a circus clown! So the paradoxical trick is to slow down, take on less, live a simple life as my friend Jennie suggested the other day.

Knowledge, creativity, healing, health, fun, work, organization, friends, beauty, revolution... these all are a constant hum in my existence. They are constructs of my mind, aspects I have chose to engage with, and also concrete realities of being alive (only in once sense... with another perspective we can see that this matter is mostly empty space and minute particles zooming around at cosmic speeds, motivated by an unseen force). But for the sake of straight-forward, grounded discussion, it's sometimes good to just look at things as solid.

So this buzz of activity is swimming within and without me and is also very still. I have the power to either animate certain objects and patterns or else to let them be.

There is no way to explain fully the benefits received from having a daily spiritual practice. They must be experienced to appreciate them even in the slightest. The ramifications of maintaining a dedicated practice, a routine return to the center of centers, cannot be conveyed in words to one who has not at least tasted these benefits pulsing throughout ones entire mind and body paradigm. I'm not even promoting this sort of daily practice for everyone. It just so happens that it helps me and is needed to fully support my Being. I have numerous friends who seem to get on royally in their own self-discovered or learned manners. It quite amazes me how they do it actually but I also understand that the causes for our all being unique is a phenomena of mind boggling complexity. We all have our own particular sets of needs and as a result of so many influences and circumstances. And I'm eternally grateful that I discovered a way to meed some of my most essential needs by having a spiritual practice ~ a habit of putting my mind towards that which touches the spirit... life knowledge, really. It would be an underestimation to only call it "spiritual"... holistic is more like it.

In this time of Fall, I am receiving the reminders from my ancestors (inner remembering and outer allies) to reflect on all that has come to pass in this year. To harvest and to celebrate the abundance, giving thanks continually for the fortune our earth bestows upon us in profound yet easily taken for granted ways. To sing and to pray, to slow down and nourish ourselves. To work with all of the energy of our love for those things that trigger meaningfulness for us. (Bioneers conference was this last weekend! Blessed Gathering of Brilliant Lovers of Life! www.bioneers.org)

So.... when it feels difficult to merge the daily life duties with the immensity of a spiritual, ancient-knowledge-informed consciousness, my intention is to simply practice kindness and friendliness with all I meet (including people, thoughts, objects, habits, cars, etc.)

The great move has occurred. For now, the gypsy has taken root. Berkeley, California is where I have nested... and what a nest it is becoming. I've been calling in this space for years. Snuggled in a cozy community yet mere blocks from the vibrant urban centers, this 100 year old Victorian house with worldly art on the walls and interesting roommates is always where I've wanted to live! Sunday afternoon~ Listening to Billy Holiday and drinking an alchemical brew of schzandra berries, oat straw and licorice root to name a few, the day will soon include planting the vegetable starts awaiting me in the vast back yard, home to succulents and fig trees. For those of you who have not heard, I've decided to finish up the Green MBA program, a statement that sounds much too casual for what it actually means. Soon I am likely to become a library mouse, focused on the fine cheeses and crumbs I find in the finance and marketing sections.

Along with that heady endeavor, I've re-committed myself to my sadhana practice (a twice daily routine of yoga, breath techniques and meditation) once again with new enthusiasm, joy, and utter fulfillment. This is part of what I am doing to live a more satvic lifestyle. Satvic is a Sanskrit word that is used to describe a certain quality that activities, spaces, foods, even behaviors have. When the satva is high in a person or place, there is calm alertness, an energized relaxation. The scent of a fresh rose is satvic. A ripe orange is satvic. Waking up early to shower yourself and then greet the day with prayer and deep breaths of gratitude for life will put you in a satvic state of mind. So will doing service for others. When we shake off laziness and dullness, go for an inspiring hike and spend time with good company, we are raising the satva in ourselves and our environment. The benefit of all of this is that emotions become even keeled, mental alertness and focus grow very clear, and we have physical energy that sustains us so we are able to do more but not get stressed out. More than anything, there is a pervading peace in the mind and a sliver of happiness and humor that never quite goes away. This sliver or thread, which I can associate with the inner Divine Self is more prone to grow into a wide beam of light and flood out into creativity and spontaneous kindness when we nurture the satva in our daily habits and spaces.

Oh how good it is for me to remember all of that! Articulating lessons and knowledge is one of the biggest gifts I can give to myself, to support myself. Thank God the Me of the past took the time to write things down and plant seeds for the purpose of nourishing the Me of the present!

La Casa de Maria Amor

Cuenca... a city of love for many reasons. Friendly greetings in the curvy orderly streets met me in the places of my soul where I adore to be met. Romance painted into the colonial architecture and fountain adorned plazas or African dance classes every Sunday in the park were all part of my world. Yet the moments that most stay within my memories and make me feel the pang of longing for that city were each evening that I went to Casa de Maria Amor where I volunteered by leading art projects for children twice a week. The house is a center for mujeres mal tratadas y sus niños, a safe-house for women and their children who had been affected by domestic violence. When I entered the dark hallway at the front, I would be swarmed by little black haired heads, the chiquitos niños y niñas whose eyes glowed widely when they asked if we were going to make art that evening, were we going to make estrellas (beaded stars) or ojos de dios (god´s eyes).

A new arrival of 6 kids and their mom came from Colombia one day. The girls were gorgeous, confident, sweet and sassy, each one a mirror of the other but in varying sizes. Viviana was the eldest and immediately became my buddy. I would never learn their full story, their reason for coming from so far away to this fairytale city of Cuenca. Unfortunately, it could only be made up of hardships if they were here in this antique house. Actually, I never heard the histories of any of the mothers as that was the domain of the therapy workshops and social workers (mostly a group of strapping, young, and compassionate women my age from a handful of European countries). I only played with the shining and sensitive children, these tiny daughters and sons who only wanted fun, beauty and love in their lives. Many of them were highly talented and mature beyond their few years. During a series of afternoons, we strung and wove beads, wound colored yarn around four directions of sticks to make a simple yet sacred patterns, and thread string into webs to catch their dreams.

Viviana was intent on learning how to make the complex loomed bead bracelets like the one on my wrist that she always admired and caressed. All on her own-resourceful-self, she obtained a rickety fruit crate, a bread knife snuck out of the kitchen, and that level of persistence exclusive to young people... materials and tools she needed to make real the image I had absent-mindedly described for her when she pestered me about what a bead loom was. We worked out a way to make this hap-trap loom for her, and off she went making straps of brilliant jewel-like bracelets for lucky wrists. Mind you that all of this had to be done in the middle of an ever chaotic buzz and wrestling of a dozen or more hankering little ones, each with an acute ability to demand your attention.

The last night I came to the house to deliver a batch of beads, string and glue, and mostly to say goodbye to this group of puppy like babies of all ages from 0-13, Viviana presented me with her latest creation, so proud and humble as she put it in front of my eyes and smiled that smile. It was a bracelet with the words, Te Quiero Mucho (I love you a lot) stitched into the design. It was only moments later after I had become distracted by something else when she let me know that it was a gift for me. Through gleeful expressions and laughter, I said half-seriously, ¨¡Voy a llorar!¨ (I´m going to cry!) That´s when she threw her cinnamon arms around my middle and really did start to sob. So then, a fountain of tears appeared pouring out of me, without control or premeditation. It was at that moment that I realized how important I had been to her and she to me. I held her and we cried while those around us fell silent. As we both tried to get to a place where we could look at each other and converse in these last short minutes, I found myself reaching from and finding something meaningful to say to her, something lasting and that worth of the genuine truth of what was occurring. Thank god for the seeds that have been planted in me over time for one of them became an automatic resource for me to use in this delicate instance. I told Viviana that she could look at the full moon whenever she needed me, that whenever there was a full moon I would also look up at it and think of her. In this way we would always be connected, we would always know that we were both there, beneath the same moon sending each other love and support. I asked her if she understood, and she really did. It still didn´t feel like enough, but it was something and it was a real intention of love. I know that what she wanted was for me to be in her life always, on a physical daily basis, touching her soft cheek encouragingly, laughing with her knowingly, telling her what I know about art and crafts, being a big sister.

But in that moment, we desperately grabbed onto all we could. And it was difficult not to just keep crying. She had all of the beads I had brought to center piled up in bags and in the little woven basket boxes I had bought for them. They were haphazardly filling up the fruit crate/bead loom, looking like the salvaged possessions of a refuge. She was obviously the new guardian of the mini-craft empire I had created in my time there. She was clearly the one who had the strongest desire to clutch onto all the treasures I had given to the group. Not because of any material value of the things, but because those things contained hope and joy and wonder. She is the most perfect person I could have passed the baton on to.

Viviana couldn´t have been older than 12. I have no idea what will happen with all of the beads I gave to the house. For all I know, she will become their official owner, making amazing pieces of jewelry for months to come. I can only wish as much to conclude my time volunteering there. Although I now that I was an uplifting and inspirational presence in many of the women´s and children´s lives there, something rare and powerful passed between this one young girl and me. Leaving that evening, I felt more inspired than ever in my life to engage meaningfully with children, to commit to be present in their lives. Viviana may well never know how profoundly she affected the trajectory of my life. And I can only guess to what degree I have touched hers or for how many years the memory of our encounter will positively influence her steps. I think that this is the nature of teaching children. Teachers give of their time, their bodies, and their hearts, and at one point must let go of their students like balloons released into the blue infinite above. We have only the trust in our souls to let us know that somewhere, somehow, our efforts continue to work their original intentions through the lives of the children we once knew.

The dandelion knows not where its seeds fly to, nor whether they will ever even take to soil, but regardless, it continues to unfurl what nature inherited it to give.

I think that this is the basis of faith.